Why do people do things? Because they can. It's an even better excuse when your job requires it of you. Welcome again to the world of Cycle Couriers. A job and lifestyle that spells freedom, apart from consuming all the crap from living in a city, the main course being made to pedal around all day, rain, hail or shine.... lightly seasoned with Volvos, road rage, car doors, U-turns, tourists, malnutrition, amoeba type security guards, 'Geee...You must be fit' comments in lifts, and and a garnish of the 'Courier Annihalation Force' proudly sponsored by "Taxidrivers International'. Yeah, what a Job, but for the good reasons. like dessert), it's a niche we all love.
In a vain attempt at recreating the spontanious antics of a 'day on the road', Cycle Couriers form around Australia merged in Melbourne for the First Australasian Cycle Messenger Championships. ACMC99). Following epic interstate journeys of consumption, the entrants arrived in Melbourne at The YMCA City Skate Park on Swanston st. The morning evolved around registration then the afternoon involved the main courier race. An orinteering style course throught the streets of the city and inner suburbs), The Lowriders competition backed by some serious grooves, The Trials Competition, and The Circle Of Attrition. Side entertainment included the wire ladder, stuff to trade, Matt's Culture tent, food and juice, massages and confusion.
The Main race and the Circle of Attrition was open to couriers only, and with other events, anyone could enter.
'Twas a controversal race, like the culture it's derived from, but that's the reason it was done. When people don't have an understanding of anothers' way, often they repent it. The ACMC99 tried to give people more of an access to the culture of Couriers, but more importantly it gave us an opportunity to have a goddamm race! The Main course took around an hour and a bit, it involved the couriers getting a map.."what's this?'...and leaving the skate park in groups of three. Following the 'map' they rode up-hill. what we call a hill) and out of town ..puff...puff.. arriving at the first of 7 checkpoints where they had to run..puff..puff..puffff....eat, fly paper planes in front of pushbike police, build complex little toys from Yowie Eggs, inflate giant chuppachupps...pufff...ppuuuffff.... bullshit their way through a spiel, fix their bikes. while eating... again), and get back to the skatepark all in one piece..pufff....puuffffukkit! All of these tasks added to the entrants' scores and tried to emulate just some of the crazy stuff that is experienced during a day @ work. They tested fitness, motor skills, observation, speed, acting ability. good for talking your way out of trouble), and for some, an element of crisis management.
Entrants rolled in with their faces covered in stamps from checkpoints and mixed reactions from the course. Most loved the concept as it put them in with the traffic but alot didn't know what to expect within the race, encouraging manifestations of the 'chaos theory'. Following a tireless effort from the Timing crew, scores were sorted and finally began The Circle Of Attrition . It was a crazy race of elimination around the skatepark, knocking out the last two riders every lap in small heats of 7 or 8. After some good ol' thrills, we had a winner.
It was Nick Kennedy From Quebec Couriers in Melbourne. Nick went home with The ACMC Trophy. A bronze cast of a Courier doing a face plant into a parking meter donated by Greg Taylor), A trip to Boston for the Cycle Messenger World Championships 2000, A Custom Crumpler Bees Knees, A Winner's Jersey, a CMWC2000 Boston T and heaps-o-smiles. 2nd place went to Martin Vieregg from Bonds Couriers in Sydney. He scored a Giant MTB from CBD CYCLES in Bourke st. Melbourne and more Crumpy stuff. 3rd place went to Damo McNiece from Minuteman Couriers in Melbourne. A Funky Green Dragster from Loco Lowriders was his ride home...cool.
Other prizes included a Tour De Force Jacket a la' Mountain Designs, Black Flys sunnies, A Movie Script of "Raging Bull" From Movieola and scrotes plus fiddly bits. Stefan from Austria won a custom Crumpler for The Longest travelled prize and the local winners were Team PCP. Porno Courier Pimps) from Perth who won an awesome painting donated by Chris Neilson.
Couriers dribbled off to 'relax', the site was packed up and night began. After a session at the Scubar, it was off to our local watering hole, The Public Bar for "The Longest Skidmark" sponsored by Mountain Goat Beer. Jocks were compared, and the skids began. It was an awesome effort from all and you could smell the rubber melt. The winner's 'y-fronts' now hang proudly at the pub. Thanks guys.
Sunday was a barbie and a chill. A few kept drinking still trying to avoid the hangover until Monday or Tuesday. It was a fantastic weekend and it really showed that there is a strong culture of couriers in Australia. It was great being part of the first ever Courier Championships held on the streets and in Oz. Thank you to the insane antics of the interstate crews. You truly put us all one step closer to 'Courier Enlightenment'. We've had reports from an 'associate' of God that 80% of Sydney Couriers Sustained injuries from incidents with tram tracks....only a rumor.
The ACMC crew wants to thank CBD Cycles, Loco Lowriders, Stu & the crazy cooks at Crumpler, The Public Bar, Mountain Designs, Wrong Clothing, Greg Taylor Sculptures, Mountain Goat Beer, Bikecorp, Blue Tables, Go Organic, Black Flys, Movieola, On Ya Bike, Scubar, Minuteman Messengers, Chris Neilson, Goblin Custom Cycles, CPL Services, Troy & Kimba, YMCA City Skatepark, Melbourne City Council, The Vic. Police Bicycle Patrol Group, Ben & Jono, Julian, Jay from www.bikecouriers.org.au, Maria's office services, Outerspace Productions, Fish Communications, Cinema Nova, Kino, Lumiere, Chauval & Valhalla Cinema's all of the media support and of course the fantastic efforts of Melissa, Dave and everyone who was apart of it throughout the year and on the day... It was a marvellous effort!
See y'all at ACMC2000. Petri.
for info on courier events and other stuff, visit http://www.bikecourier.com.au/
ACMC Results:
1st: Nick Kennedy (Quebec, Melb.)
2nd: Martin Vieregg (Bonds, Sydney.)
3rd: Damo McNiece (Minuteman, Melb.)
4rd: Paul Gent (Central, Melb.)
5th: David Sincoe (Data Xpress, Melb.)
6th: Dean Gallagher (X-force/10speed, Syd/Adel.)
Kosta Bolis (Minuteman, Melb.)
7th: Stefan Zerza (VeloBlitzGraz, Austria)
8th: Mat West (Tenspeed, Adel.)
Farmer John (Minuteman, Melb.)
9th: Jason King (CTI, Adel.)
Sarah Mycroft (Mail Call, Sydney)
Benjamin Burnard (Tenspeed, Adel.)
Wal Dickie (Dart, Melb.)
Peter Craig (Wiz, Melb.)
10th: Adam Hogan (Grace, Sydney) (1st place @ Checkpoint 5 'The Gig')
11th: Jesse Hunter (Minuteman, Melb.)
12th: Adrian Walsh (Bring, Perth)
Jarrad Winter (Snap, Sydney)
Adam Lucas (Snap, Sydney)
Simon Hambour (Tenspeed, Adel.)
Dwayne Golding (Tenspeed, Adel.)
13th: Damien Gillings (Grace, Sydney)
14th: David Cullen (Snap, Melb.)
Michael McInerney (Tenspeed, Adel.)
15th: Rohan Miller (Dx, Perth)
Anne Gulbin (Minuteman, Melb.)
Peter Stolz (Tenspeed, Adel.)
Jason Hay (Allied, Adel.)
16th: Angus Cole (Bring, Perth)
17th: Ronasaurus (ex-Minuteman, Melb.)
18th: Byron Davy (Bring, Perth)
Craig Thomas (Bike-it, Perth)
Mick Blount (Snap, Sydney)
Mike Dodd (Tenspeed, Adel.)
Adrian Howes (Dart, Melb.)
Sonny Copeland (Minuteman, Melb.)
19th: James McCennan (Grace, Sydney)
John Hennah (Bike-it, Perth)
Matt Gudeika (Wiz, Melb.)
Donny Buchanan (Dart, Melb.)
Sneekee Pete (Snap/Dart, Melb.)
Tom Klestadt (Z, Melb.)
Ian Hill (X-Force, Sydney)
Alan Cox (CTI. Adel.)
Oliver Pringle (Mailcall, Sydney)
Dan Williamson (Tenspeed, Adel.)
Sonny Wright (Melb.)
Thomas Fry (Minuteman, Melb.)