St. Valentines Day Asskicker, Christchurch, 12 Feb 99


Ok folks, this is the first ever alleycat messenger race in Christchurch, New Zealand. A small but dedicated bunch of messengers work the streets of Christchurch, 9 in total actually, but the guy from Ansett sent his stand in messenger along - more about him later! To get the numbers up to the even 10 I invited Big Nig along. He is a grease monkey in a local bike shop but did his time with Security Dispatch in London, (big hello to Buffalo Bill - Nig ).

Registration and pre-race refreshments at C1 Espresso cafe on High st. The guys in the cafe were pretty good about it considering in 10 minutes flat the paved area outside looked like a scene from war-torn Chechnya. (well you try spelling it)

Following a Le Mans style locked bike mass start, everybody headed off to the 1st checkpoint where they recieved their manifest and a phone book which was to be carried throughout the race. Then we were split into 2 groups of 3 and 2 groups of 2. This kept a steady stream of messengers arriving back at "base" for further instructions and beer. This was very good for the small group of spectators as they got to see the compeditors often and not just at the begining and end.

Checkpoints were as follows:

Victoria st P.O. - phone book
Toilet, Annies Bar, art centre - Stamp manifest
Victoria square, "no skateboarding" pole - Sticker manifest
Ernest & Young house 227 Cambridge ter - Stamp manifest
AMI Insurance house, Latimer square - Sticker manifest (now this seems straight forward, but we reckon someone saw my lovely assistant, Helena, put the stickers there and swiped them... for there indeed were none to be found...anywhere!)
Bivouac Outdoor, Cashel Mall - Postcard
C1 Espresso, 150 High st - Skull beer, get instructions
Hoyts 8 Cinema, Moorhouse ave, Compulsory bike lock, - get movie guide
Smiths City multi storey car park, top level ( are we having fun yet?) - small fragile parcel, you got it - an egg.
Bicycle Business, Colombo st - Sticker manifest
C1 Espresso, 150 High st - swap small fragile parcel for large under-armer
Price Waterhouse, 119 Armagh st - Stamp large parcel
C1 Espresso - swap large stamped parcel for small cold drink, skull, collapse, finnito.

Results.

1. Paul Buick - Ansett (Messenger Trophy)
2. Darryl Jacobson - Mercury Messenger (Trek gloves)
3. Kev Mair - Mercury Messenger (C1 T-shirt, beer)
4. Muzz Moller - Kiwi Express
5. Tim Madgwick - Kiwi Express
6. Matthew Dellar - Cycle Couriers
7. Andrew - Deadline
8. Blair Righton - Cycle Couriers
9. Big Nig - Team beer and more beer
dnf - Patti-Ann Brown - Courier Post

But wait, there's more... after the main race there was a track-stand, wheelie and sprint competition. Results as follows:

Wheelie - Tim Madgwick - Kiwi (Ground Effect beanie)
Sprint - Tim Madgwick - Kiwi (Cactus wallet)
Track-stand - Kev Mair - Mercury (K2 cap)
Mug of the race - Tim Madgwick - Kiwi (K2 mug)

A few notable comments.

The only thing I didn't plan for was an outdoor Shakesperian performance in the arts centre. There were many people milling around waiting for the play to start so I decided to keep my head down and go to the nearest exit. The ramp that led to that exit was blocked by a small crowd so I pulled a wee jump off it on to the grassed area. When I looked up there was a larger crowd looking at me, or more specifically at my handlebar, for draped on the end of it was a green cardigan. I glance behind and sure enough there was a woman on her way down from the ramp to collect it. Needless to say I dismounted and quickly left the area by foot.

Mug of the race went to Tim for 2 reasons. Firstly he didn't read his manifest correctly and ended up back at C1 more than anybody else, and secondly the egg! Earlier that day I had told Tim there was an egg involved and the best way to carry it was in ones mouth, "but" I told him do so with the pointy end to the front then the air will still get passed the egg and you will still be able to breath. Fast forward to the race and... you guessed it. Tim rides around city with egg in mouth. He didn't break it mind, and neither did anyone else.

I'd just like to say well done to Paul who won, but it might have been different if he'd ridden 90kms that day too, and "Go single speed guys" (of whom I was one) 3rd level Smiths City Carpark, no problem!

Thanks to...

Ground Effect, Cactus, C1 Espresso, Bicycle Business, Mercury Messenger, K2, Race Face, Bouldengrafik, all the messengers for turning up, and to P.A.B for being the only chick to race. Special thanks to Helena.