Chicago doesn't have the hills of San Francisco, the insane traffic of NYC or the bitter cold of Minneapolis. What we do have is some really tall buildings. If there was any justice in the world, the Sears Tower would still be counted as the world's tallest, instead of that glorified radio antenna in Malaysia. So, when it was my turn to design an alleycat course, I instantly thought: "skyscraper". I've never heard of a messenger race in another city that took you up 96 floors in the sky. If there has been anything like that, I'm sure the checkpoint location wasn't as stylin' as the Signature Lounge of the John Hancock Tower. They make a mean "Michigan Avenue Martini".
The race set up was simple. Contestants got a manifest listing various checkpoints around the city. Instead of getting a stamp ot souvenir from a checkpoint person, racers were to collect the answers to scavenger hunt style clues. The questions included some of my favorite Chi-Town location: "how many sea horses are there at the Buckingham fountain?", "who is the bartender tonight at the Matchbox bar?" and "what's the number for the pay phone at the Oak St. beach?" But as I was plotting the course a few hours before race time, I was horrified to see a long line for the elevator at the Hancock building. Then I remembered that it was Valentine's Day! There was no way security would let 25 sweaty bike racers up into the posh lounge on such a crowded night. My hopes of having the world's tallest checkpoint were dashed. Then a lightbulb went off: we'd have a side wager; the messenger who was loopy enough to wait 25 minutes in line, consume a Pina Colada, complete the course and arrive at the finish at Phyllis' with a Hancock-shaped swizzle stck as proof, that lush would get a $20 bonus, plus a place in the slacker messenger hall of fame.
The race went without a hitch: no accidents or injuries, but a great spirit of cooperation among the racers as they rode their hardest but helped each other pick up the clues. The final results were controversial. Miles Hamilton of KDR/Metro was the first racer to arrive with a complete, accurate manifest. He won a plane ticket to Toronto for the HPR. But I had to disqualify a lot of the fastest riders because one or two of their clues were slightly off. In one case, a waiter at Linda's Margaritas gave out the wrong info about closing time; the correct answer to that one was posted on the front door of the restaurant. So many felt that the prizes should have gone to people whose manifests were not 100% right. Miles was a good sport and agreed to share the wealth. He gave the Timbuk2 bag he won to Jason Neri of C-ball, the first biker to reach the Musical Inn. Jason had been disqualified because he listed the title of the painting in the Hancock lobby as "Earth Birth" in stead of just "Earth". Arrow's Heather Hannoura, who had also been axed on a technicality, won the other bag for being the fastest female racer. Predictably, Tom "Tommy Boy" Pullan, (ex-Intercept) won the cocktail prize. This sometime bartender Proved once again that he is a legendary figure among Chicago's slacker messengers. The evening finished with the Phyllis' Valentine's Party/Bike Messenger Prom, hosted by Zoe Scantos (ex-IC). Although the event was definitely a "dude ranch", great music was provided by the WCBMA all-ster DJs: Wonderland, Specter, Nick E., I.S. and Will B.I. Thanks to everybody who made the World's Tallest Alleycat a towering success.
-Greenfield
the top riders:
1. Jason Neri #14 DQ
2. Yuval Awazu #9 DQ
3. Leonardo McNalty #147 DQ
1. Miles Hamilton #16
5. Nick Kofski #8 DQ
6. Matt Skiba #50 DQ
7. Jason Erie #4 DQ
8. John Nicholson #32 DQ
9. Marcus Moore #30 DQ
10. Jack Blackfelt #23 DQ
11. Patrick Babcock #35 DQ
2. Tony Ginn #33
3. Glenn Porter #19
14. Eliyahu Miller #14 DQ
15. Gledon Grimes #7 DQ
16. Heather Hannoura #16 DQ
17. Chris Witt #10 DQ
4. James Daniels #27
5. Tom Pullen #13
6. Marco Hernandez
7/8. Ryan